I finished my first year at UGA this year. In the year, I declared myself as an art major with a focus on photography. From the very beginning at orientation, I was hesitant about it. (Strangely, I was stuck between pre-pharmacy or art. Weird, right?) A lot of people make the assumption that art majors are not going to get anywhere and just end up working at Starbucks or somewhere completely unrelated to art. When I told my brother I was going to study art, he basically said I’ll be broke and will be working at Starbucks or somewhere.

Already having second thoughts from the start, I went into first semester with these art courses: Color and Composition, Drawing I, Art History I, and Art Proseminar. I’ve never taken any drawing course in my life (well, I did in Korea when I was little, but that doesn’t count) so I was scared of what I was about to get in to. In both Color and Comp and Drawing class, we displayed our work on the wall and critiqued. Every time, I saw my work as one of the weakest piece. My classmates were super talented. I was so amazed at the stuff they put out. I kept comparing my work to theirs and I was completely embarrassed. In Drawing I, the professor was very kind to me and helped when I needed it. I did learn quite a few things from the class, but once again, everyone else was better than me. I couldn’t help but compare myself to my classmates. Art History made me realize how little I know about art, of art, and specifically artists. I’ve never heard of most of the artists we were discussing. I knew I wasn’t as educated about the art world as I should be. After the first semester, I was slightly frustrated that I had to take these courses even though I won’t be drawing if I do photography. Color and comp would be handy though. Anyways, I still had doubts about my major. 

My second semester course consisted of Drawing II, 3D Design, and Art History II. After Drawing I, I was hesitant about what Drawing II will bring. Well, first month of class, we did figure drawing (I was NOT happy about this at all because the one thing I suck at most is drawing people). Thankfully, we didn’t have to draw the figures realistically, just use gesture drawings of the body. As part of the figure drawing unit, we had models come in at pose for us. This was the most shocking part of my year at UGA: we had 4 different nude models we had to draw in class! I don’t know about anyone else, but I was very uncomfortable with having a naked man standing in front of me with his junk hanging out. (I’m pretty sure this girl beside me dropped the class after the 2nd nude model) Did I mention we had an 80 year old male model for us? Gross… Anyways, this drawing class was more relaxed for me. The professor didn’t grade us on how our worked looked, but the time and thought we put into it. (Honestly, I think all art professors should do that rather than being biased about what they personally like and don’t like) Another thing I liked was that the professor understood I wouldn’t be drawing with my focus on photography so she tried to related photography into the assignments. For my 3D Design class, I was excited! I thought it would be like ceramics all over again. I was wrong, dead wrong. It was the first time my professor taught the class so he wasn’t quite sure of himself. The projects he assigned wasn’t interesting or appealing to us at all. I did learn how to use a saw and other wood shop materials though. Art History II really made me question about being an art major. We got into Dada and modern art movements. When I saw some of the works, all I could think in my head it “how the hell is that art?” Honestly, one of the piece was a urinal turned upside down with a signature and another piece was a postcard of Mona Lisa with a mustache drawn on it. Like what the hell? And some of the abstract piece, I don’t understand how people get a whole story out of it. I just stared blankly at the painting. It’s ridiculous. I mean the class was fairly easy, just memorization.

So after finishing my year as an art major, I wasn’t completely happy with it. I didn’t find myself being excited about making a drawing or really any motivation. With these pre-requisite classes that really didn’t relate to my focus on photography, I was bummed and in doubt. I mean, I passed the portfolio review which was at the end of first semester, but that didn’t convince me that I can go far by drawing these mediocre drawings and whatnot.

On Wednesday, I took pictures of Emily’s baby. I was so excited to take baby Ezra’s pictures. Not only because I wanted to hang out with the precious little baby, but I haven’t touched my camera in a while. When I got there, I was taking pictures after pictures. I loved what I was doing. And when I got home, I went straight into editing. I spent 4 straight hours editing. I was so thrilled with how the pictures turned out. That moment, I realized I made the right choice about my major.

I’m not an art major. It’s not for me. I don’t have a desire to fulfill all my time into art. When I was editing the pictures, I realized this is my hobby. This is what I like to do for fun. Like a lot of art majors, they usually end up having to become independent artists or open up their own business. I don’t think I could do that. So as of now, I am no longer an art major.

4 more days of summer classes left.
2 more days of chem lab left.
14 more days till Nate comes!

So excited!

When I think of my grandma, I always think of this picture. I might not remember this exactly, but I’m going to assume my grandma, my dad, and I were fishing somewhere in Korea. I also remember my grandma would used to fix my hair with flowers or some sort of plants. (the little ball looking thing on the top of my head is tied up with possibly a piece of grass?) 

Anyways, when I look at this picture, it kind of makes me sad. Most everyone know who their grandma is whether it’s just their name or where she was born or what her life was life when she was kid. For me, I really don’t know much about her other than she lives alone in the city where I was born. After taking my Asian-American literature class, I figured out that in Asian culture, or Korean culture, we hardly ever use first names. And because of that, I don’t know what my grandma’s name is. It’s pretty sad. Another reason this picture makes me feel down is because I can’t really communicate with her like I used to when I was kid. After moving to US almost 13 years ago, my Korean has suffered immensely. Whenever I talked to her on the phone, I can’t tell her everything I want to because of this language barrier. I wish I could tell her about everything going on here, but I don’t know how. 

Seeing how my dad talks about her, I know she’s an amazing and strong woman. She raised 5 kids in a poor community with little money. Looking at the family now, she did a pretty damn good job of raising them with what she had. My dad always talked about how she worked to keep food on the table and how my dad had to balance a job and school. He would always tell me about the time when he couldn’t go on a field trip because he didn’t have $2. Just looking at my dad, he has provided my family with everything. We moved to the United States because of a job. He is now the production or general manager of the company, bought a house, 3 cars, and is able to pay for my brother’s and my education. I say that is a damn good success story.

I don’t know how she was like when she was a teenager or how she met my grandpa, but I know she is an amazing woman who raised an amazing son/family and provided all she could for the ones she loved. 

Thank you for everything, grandma. I love you. 

— In my opinion, I think I have non-girly nails. My mom even told me that my brother has prettier nails than me.

— I don’t know majority of my relatives’ names. (Very sad…)

— I used to hate the color orange, but now am quite fond of the color.

— I am starting to be afraid of the dark. (This might just be because of the scary movie I watched the other day)

— In middle school, I sent a message via MySpace telling a guy I liked him on his birthday. That was embarrassing. (Oh, middle school days)

I had a wonderful time with the girls tonight! One of the girls had the bright idea of watching Sinister, ah! What I’ve learned is that I really can’t watch scary movies (yeah, such a girl..) I hide behind pillows whenever the music starts getting louder and louder. I think I’m going to sleep with the lights on tonight. Goodnight!

This day was a roller coaster. This morning I received a text from a close friend telling me she was scared. Her family had been waiting for test results today and they didn’t look so great. Later, I got a phone call from Nate’s mom telling me Nate was taken to the hospital and had to get an appendectomy. I don’t know how his mom was so composed when I burst into tears after hearing the news. After a few hours, I received a picture of his smiling face. That one picture made my day. I knew he was okay, that he was recovering, that everything will be okay.

It’s moments like this when you realize how precious every moment actually is. Cherish every second, minute, hour, and day you live and the people around you. One day, it’s going to be yours or their last day whether it is expected or unexpected.